Being in a new relationship I feel reset. I’ve got the opportunity to not make previous mistakes. Owning current errors and being accountable.
One thing I’ve noticed is the point of disconnect.
I’ve come to realise that my external quiet = internal noise.
When this happens it's like some of my plugs get pulled.
Now to be 'quiet', can be about anything;
But the first plug that gets disconnected is my 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝓊𝑔! All of a sudden I’ve lost interest in physical contact, no smooching in the kitchen, no intimate passing in the hall. No shower foreplay and yep that’s it, the bedroom become a place for sleep! zzzz
According to my psychologist, this is common and is the root of the breakdown in communication. This all stems back to 'men need sex for connection, women need a connection for sex'. Hands up who can own this same circumstance at home!
𝒮𝑜 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒹𝑜 𝓌𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓃𝑒𝒸𝓉? Check the wifi setting? NO!
Years ago my (now ex-husband) comes home, and I can't remember if it was off the back from a session with his psychologist or not. But he had this idea that we would have sex every night for a week or a fortnight or a month.
Well, you can imagine how that went down! #leadballoon
Years later I read about this, where couples have intimate homework every night in order to reconnect.
Rewind...... Telling me 'We will have sex every night' is not exactly the pitch of the century. #dutifulsex
And for the record, I'd say there was still no sex in the house for some time afterward.