How do I make oral sex safe AND sexy?

Preparing for Safe Oral Sex

Your Questions … 

What is oral sex? 

Is oral sex safe?

Should I use a condom during oral sex?

What is a “dam”?

How do I make safe oral sex sexy?

Answered.

Photo Credit @Femme_Rebelle

Hello, and welcome back to our love diary! 

One of the most popular articles you’ll see in any sex advice magazine or blog is about providing the best possible oral sex (which we will get to soon TBC). However, something that is often forgotten or glossed over is how to stay safe during oral sex 😇.

When we say “oral sex” in this article we are referring to several different things that revolve around providing or receiving pleasure with lips, a mouth and/or a tongue. We’re going to lump together the givers and the receivers, the penis, the vulva and the anus. 

***Pro-Tip***  If you are a person of the gender non-binary, this article can still be helpful for you if you are engaging with oral sexual acts with anyone who is of the genetic binary, or if they own an anus. We don’t want to exclude anyone ever! We just can’t cover every gorgeous iteration of the rainbow in one article.

Without further ado, let’s dive in!

As always, your safety is our first priority! While oral sex tends to be a lower risk sexual activity when compared to penetrative sex, that doesn’t mean that you’re safe from any risk at all. 

These tips are mostly aimed at those of us who are sexually free and are not in a consensually monogamous relationship. 

Some of the most important things to know about oral sex safety are:

Cleanliness 🛁

All genitals have their own unique flavour and smell, and that is 100% normal! However, during day-to-day activities, your nether regions can become a little less than delightful. 

***Pro-tip*** Avoid using any genital deodorants or perfumes, you don’t need them! If you are experiencing a less-than-sexy scent for a prolonged period of time, talk to your doctor.

Taking a shower, having a wash “down there” or using a genital friendly wipe will help keep things fresh and fun and help reduce the spread of any unwanted germs or bacteria. 

You can also try showering together if that’s possible, washing each other’s genitals can be a HUGE turn on opportunity.   

Taste, Smell and What You Can Do

Avoiding certain foods can improve your smell and taste as well. If you’re self-conscious then try cutting out onions, garlic, asparagus, Brussel sprouts and cabbage for a little bit.

To sweeten your juices try adding in things like pineapple, nutmeg, celery, and papaya in your daily diet to see if there are any improvements 🍍✅

STIs and Oral Sex 🦠

If you are engaging in “unprotected” (not using a condom) oral sex, then you are at risk for coming into contact with genital fluids. These fluids can carry viruses and infections (including but NOT limited to) such as herpes and HPV (human papillomavirus.) 

If you or your partner(s) have any cuts, sores or ulcers in your mouths then you are at an especially elevated risk as these unwanted visitors can get directly into your blood system. 

We don’t want to scare you off from this pleasure adventure! It is just important for you to understand the risks so you can practice oral sex safely. 

Protecting Yourself 🛡

As always, use a condom (or another barrier method)! These provide the best possible protection from STIs. Keep in mind though, condoms are not foolproof. Make sure you’re using condoms correctly and according to the manufacturer’s specifications.

When we say “condom” we are referring to the most common style that completely covers the penis and needs to be thrown away after each use. 

The other most encouraged form of barrier method is what is called a dam or dental dam. These are small, thin sheets of latex or plastic that act as a barrier between you and the oral sex recipient. These are ideal for vaginal and anal play as they protect you while still letting you experience tons of sensation. 

If these barrier methods are used correctly then you will be at a massively lower risk for contracting an STI from oral sex. 

Prevention is always key so avoid oral sex if you or your partner:

• Has a throat infection
• Has new, unhealed or inflamed piercings on their genitals or mouth
• Has an STI
• Has blisters, warts, rashes, sores around his/her/their/ mouth or genitals
• Is experiencing menstruation

Another key tip is to avoid getting semen, vaginal fluid or other fluids in your eyes or mouth entirely. Semen and vaginal fluid are the main carriers of many STIs. Using a condom or dam can help prevent this. 

Make sure that you and your sexual partner(s) have been tested recently and have been given a clean bill of health.

If one or both of you have STIs or are worried you have an STI, speak with your doctor or another medical provider about how to stay safe during oral sex. 🧑‍⚕️

There are a lot of options for this! Just make sure you are engaging in your sexy activities with a risk-aware partner, first and foremost. 

While some people complain about the taste of condoms, there are ways around that! Almost every major condom manufacturer makes flavoured varieties of classic condoms for the purpose of oral sex. These vary widely from banana to chocolate to just about anything you can dream up!

Having a tasty barrier is a great way to keep all participants enthusiastic about engaging in oral. 

If you don’t always have flavoured condoms at hand, try a flavoured lubricant that is condom compatible. This way it can be reapplied during longer sessions or even used in tandem with a flavoured condom (hello, chocolate strawberry delight!)

These lubricants can also be used with dams to keep things absolutely delicious. 

You can also slide a condom on in a sexy way! 🍌

***Pro-Tip*** Practice this on a banana or cucumber before you try it with a partner to make sure you have your technique down.

Put the condom with the reservoir facing into your mouth and rest it on your lips. Then, gently and carefully, use your mouth and tongue to slide the condom onto your phallically shaped object of choice. With some practice, many penis-owners may not even notice you slide it on! 

Those are our main pieces of advice for making and keeping oral sex not only fun but safe as well. We’ll be back soon with more tips and tricks from our Sexperts!

If you enjoyed this article and want to share, please do! Just show us a little love by tagging us @myamorashop. 💓

Get out there, get in there and get off there! 

Elaine S. Turner

Sex Coach, Clinical Sexologist & Sexuality Educator

Sydney, Australia

August 2020

Works Cited

Holland, K., & Landis, E. (2018, September 14). Should You Use A Condom During Oral Sex? Retrieved August 30, 2020, from https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/oral-sex-with-a-condom

Oral sex and mouth care. (2019, October). Retrieved August 30, 2020, from https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/oral-sex-mouth-care

Oral sex and STIs - what you need to know. (2019, June 24). Retrieved August 30, 2020, from https://www.health.qld.gov.au/news-events/news/oral-sex-STI-protection-condom-dental-dam

Oral sex. (2020, June). Retrieved August 30, 2020, from https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/HealthyLiving/Oral-sex

Santos-Longhurst, A. (2019, July 30). Everything You Need to Know About Oral Sex (910815870 716852210 J. Brito Ph.D., LCSW, CST, Ed.). Retrieved August 30, 2020, from https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/oral-sex