What You Should Already Know About Tantric Sex
Understanding it, Getting Started and Basic Practices
Your Questions …
What is tantra or tantric sex?
What does ‘tantra’ mean?
How can tantra help with sex?
Should I take a tantric class?
Made (recently-ish) famous by the classic Sex and the City episode, tantra or tantric sex has increased in popularity both in the culture at large and in sex therapy circles.
What is it and why has it become so popular?
The practice of Tantra dates back thousands of years in India. A love child of Hindu and Tibetan Buddhist spirituality, it involves all aspects of life from meditation and study to sex.
Essentially, it is a specific way of connecting with your partner in lovemaking. The word itself comes from Sanskrit, meaning “web” or “to weave energy.”
Through slow and meditative sex, the end goal is never orgasm but the erotic journey that you go on.
Why Practice Tantra?
It removes the performance element of sex because it is intentionally slow and intimate, it isn’t about how sex is “supposed” to be but about how it actually is.
It leaves you feeling more comfortable communicating with your partner about what you want from your lovemaking and what exactly feels good.
Some strong proponents of tantric methods believe that these practices can help with some sexual difficulties such as preorgasmia and erectile issues.
Some people who have experienced “tantric orgasms” claim that they are transcendental experiences and have completely changed the way they view lovemaking.
It’ll help you feel closer to not only yourself and your body, but your practising partner. Tantra is all about connection and practising projecting love and energy. These will not only heighten your sexual experience overall but help you feel more bonded to your partner.
Knowing the Body
Tantra is all about awareness of the body and spirit.
Through self-love, masturbatory practices and tantric methods, you can begin to understand on a deeper level what your body wants.
Utilising the practices of tantra it will teach you to understand not only your own body better but your partner’s body (if you have one) and leading you all on a path towards greater fulfilment.
We suggest taking a class or meeting with a professional in the field to give you some advice on your new spiritual adventure. You can also do your own online research, just check your sources, as always.
Some tips for getting yourself started are:
- Read into it - There is so much knowledge already out there, there is no reason for you to go on this journey without some professional guidance. Here are some book tips for you:
- Start a meditation practice - Tantric sex is all about being present in the moment and mindfulness meditation is a great way to bring your attention to breathing and bodily sensations
- Practice self-love through masturbation - There is no better way to improve your love life other than masturbation. This will help you connect with your body and understand what you enjoy specifically
- Explore your own territory - Try giving yourself regular massages and pay specific attention to the way touch feels on you and how your body responds
- Set aside time - Tantra is all about taking your time and taking things slow, therefore set time aside to fully engage with your Tantric practices when you won’t be bothered
Set the Scene
Tantra utilises a lot of sexual rituals, and creating a sexual sanctuary is an important way to begin. Whatever you find sexy, candles, soft music, pillows, use your imagination!
One of the central practices of tantra is breathing deeply and fully.
Try taking a full breath in through your nose, filling up and expanding your belly with air. Exhale slowly, releasing your belly and all the air in your lungs. Visualise that your breath is going through your body and down to your pelvis, your knees and down to the floor, connecting you with the earth.
Do this a few times before incorporating it into your sexual experiences.
Look into Each Other’s Eyes
Eye contact will help you and your partner feel closer and stay focused while you’re practising. It is suggested that you both try and focus on the other person’s left eye with your left eye.
This will not only help you learn about your partner’s body, but they will get time to focus on what it feels like to receive pleasure without having to give pleasure at the same time. This newfound focus will allow them to appreciate the feeling of being touched and what it does to their body.
Not a new bubble tea but a traditional tantric position that is said to help align energies.
Ask the penetrating partner to sit cross-legged on the floor. Facing them, the one being penetrated should climb on top and wrap their legs around their partner’s body.
If you need, put a pillow under your backside for comfort and support.
Remember, Tantra teaches that it is about the journey and never the destination. If you feel an orgasm coming on, try and delay it as long as you can to intensify the experience.
Edging both yourself and your partner closer and closer to orgasm will bring you one hell of a finale when and if the time arrives
That’s all we have for you today about Tantra, remember, get out there and educate yourselves!
What do you think?
Have you ever tried any Tantric sex practices?
Do you think mindfulness helps improve your sexual experiences?
Have you tried edging with a partner?
We want to know! Tell us all the juicy details in the sextion below!
Get out there, get in there and get off there!
Elaine S. Turner
Sex Coach, Clinical Sexologist & Sexuality Educator
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Please remember everyone while we are Sexperts, we are not medical professionals. This site does not provide medical advice. Nothing can replace that specific medical knowledge so if you want more information, ask a doctor or other medical professional. This is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Do not ignore advice from a medical professional. Information here is gathered from reputable sources, however, this should not be considered a tool for self-treatment or diagnosis. If you have an emergency, please contact local emergency assistance immediately.
Hirschman, C. (n.d.). What is Tantra and Tantric Sex?: Tantric Sex. Retrieved October 15, 2020, from https://www.sexcoaching.com/types-of-therapy/what-is-tantra-tantric-sex/
Morales-Brown, L., & Brito, J., Ph.D., LCSW, CST. (2020, June 21). Everything you need to know about Tantric Sex. Retrieved October 15, 2020, from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-tantric-sex
O'Neill, M. (2019, May 28). What Is Tantric Sex? 5 Ways It Can Make Your Sex Life Better. Retrieved October 15, 2020, from https://www.health.com/sex/tantric-sex
Scaccia, A., & Brito, J., Ph.D., LCSW, CST. (2019, October 10). How to Practice Tantric Sex: 26 Tips for Masturbation and Partner Play. Retrieved October 15, 2020, from https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/tantric-sex#know-your-partner
Sinrich, J. (2019, January 17). Tantric Sex Isn't All About The Orgasm-But That Doesn't Mean You Won't Have One. Retrieved October 15, 2020, from https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/g19890114/tantric-sex/
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