Are you addicted to your vibrator? Three common Vibrator Myths - Debunked!

3 Common Vibrator Myths - Debunked

Your Questions …

Can I become addicted to my vibrator?

Will a using a vibrator ruin sex with a partner?

Does using a vibrator mean my partner isn’t a good lover?

Answered.

We’ve all been told the classic reasons not to masturbate, those who fall for the seduction of the hand or device suffer from blindness, hairy palms and mental illness.

Wait. What?

How many hairy palmed people have you met in your lifetime? Not a lot I’d guess. If every person who masturbated suffered the fates of those taught to us, we’d have a pretty wild looking society at large. 

These common myths have been proliferated throughout the years and have absolutely no evidence to lean on. One that is a popular story today is that of a woman who started using a vibrator and she became addicted to it, forsaking partnered sex.

First of all, if she chose to abstain from partnered sex in pursuit of solo pleasure, that’s her choice and more power to her. But the vibrator didn’t make her do it.

This, like the hairy hands, is a myth. 

While many of us already know that masturbation does not cause blindness or hairy palms, many of us still fall victim to the lies around the use of sex toys, specifically those about vibrators. 

We’re going to quell your fears of using one of our favourite toys by addressing these common concerns one at a time.

While believing this can be understandable (if you’ve ever used a vibrator you know how good it is) that doesn’t make it true. 

The word being tossed around here is addiction. Addiction involves building up a tolerance to the thing being consumed. Fearing a “desensitization” of a user’s clitoris.

Well, if you spend all day every day in bed pressing your vibrator firmly against your clitoris then maybe you’ll notice some decreased sensitivity after a period of constant use. 

The truth of the matter is, the more time you spend with your clitoris the more sensitive it’ll become because it will expect attention. The more orgasms you have the more relaxed, happier and healthier you’ll become. 

Masturbation is healthy and teaches us what we want and do not want during partnered play. It is often referred to as the “foundation for all partnered sexual activities.” While vibrators provide a unique sensation that a human can’t replicate, would you expect them to? 

As was stated in Medical News Today by Hannah Nichols, “Masturbation has also been identified as a strategy to improve sexual health by promoting intimacy, exploring self-pleasure, desires, and needs, reducing unwanted pregnancies, and preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV transmission.” (Nichols, 2020)

So, now that addiction fears are gone, keep vibrating away!

If you drive somewhere instead of riding a bicycle, do you ruin riding a bicycle for yourself? Definitely not, it just gets you where you’re heading faster.  

This is true for the use of vibrators and sex. If your goodies are stimulated in an erotic way your body will respond.  If you’re stimulated with a vibrator, a finger or a tongue, your body will respond. Your sexual response cycle won’t change based on what is awakening it.

Keep in mind that the majority of women only have orgasms when their clitoris is directly stimulated, even during sex. The majority of women do not have orgasms during penetrative sex. Therefore, adding some clitoral stimulation should provide you with some much-needed titillation during sexual activities while giving your partner a sexy view.

Alas, this is … still not true. Like we discussed before, the vast majority of women need clitoral stimulation to experience an orgasm, if they get there at all! Vibrators provide intense stimulation directly on the orgasmic powerhouse (clitoris) in the way no human can (unless you try one of our finger vibrators.) 

If your partner finds herself unable to experience an orgasm without that sensation, are you going to deny her for understanding her sexual needs? We hope not! 

Knowing what turns you on and what gets you off improves your sex life by knowing exactly what to ask for. Often, partners find this knowledge a huge turn on because they want to provide you with pleasure, just like you want to give pleasure to them! As Martha Cornog stated in The Big Gook of Masturbation “Orgasm is orgasm however induced.” She also stated, “Unless you can develop a sense that your body is your territory … you cannot freely give it in a sexual interaction with another person” (Cornog, 2003) 

What have we learned from these myths? That a vibrator is an investment in your sexperience and sexual future! Knowing your sexual self is a key component to becoming the sexiest person you can be. 

Get out there, get in there and get off there!

Elaine S. Turner

Sex Coach, Clinical Sexologist and Sexuality Educator

Sydney, Australia

August 2020

Works Cited

Castleman, M., M.A. (2011, February 15). Vibrators: Myths vs. Truth. Retrieved August 12, 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/all-about-sex/201102/vibrators-myths-vs-truth

Cornog, M. (2003). Chapter 14: Sex Therapy and Enhancement Masturbation. In The Big Book of Masturbation: From Angst to Zeal (pp. 225-237). San Francisco, California: Down There Press.

Editor. (2014, July 11). Sex Toy Myths Debunked. Retrieved August 12, 2020, from https://psychologytomorrowmagazine.com/sex-toy-myths-debunked/

Nichols, H. (2020, January 23). Masturbation side effects: Myths and facts (J. Brito Ph.D, LCSW, CST, Ed.). Retrieved August 12, 2020, from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320265

Vibrator Misconceptions. (n.d.). Retrieved August 12, 2020, from https://libida.com/pages/vibrator-myths